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Semi-up-to-date list of artistic writing outputs I am the most proud of
2020 - Untangle Me Like One of Your Borromean Knots: Between Desire, Platforms, Identity and the Self
Published in Trans*migrations: cartographies of the queer
I write this text with a glass of stale red wine in a window next to Хаски’s video Детка-Голливуд, where Russian rapper quotes Tiqqun. Spectacle watches you through the eyes of the girl, reflecting the captivating blonde wig of the main heroine in post-cyber future, among refracting mirrors and cigrette smoke hid under celophane cocoons - the way I imagine gender-virus sprawling across the social body, remaking superstructure while making us painfully aware of the base everytime a queer person loses a job.
It’s funny how all it takes for gender symbolic order to fall is a man (?) with a glitter on his face.
2019 - Inner State of Alchemy: Introduction to antidepressant phenomenology
Published in Speculative Ruinology: Interpretation as a Mode of Survival Class
Every time I take the pill of paroxetine, a web of relationships enters my stomach. The enzyme CYP2D6 starts to metabolize not only a few carbons, oxygens, fluorine, nitrogen and a bunch of hydrogens, but my body is overlaid with an invisible structure consisting of scientific efforts, marketing plans, the psychiatric lobby, social pressures, individual and collective decisions, assumed ideal forms of the human brain, all packed up in some sugar to engulf every cell of mine. At 9 in the morning, threads of this web start to loosen and tear. Time to take another dose.
The old labour-controlling regime (Stutter) is slowly being eroded by libidinal economy (Deleuze). Instead of being aimed at pure surplus extraction, this “new” system is based around channeling affects, invoking emotions, manipulating desires and constructing new ones. In a way, it’s always been present – it’s a question of volume, scope and method. Nothing numb will make it out in a near-future where capital pervades every territory of our emotional life.
Various shades, various sizes, each one endowed with unique engraving so you can never ever mistake one for the other. If I need to work, I take the scarlet one. If I go out, violet. A romantic dinner is moss green, sex periwinkle. All the desired chemicals flows into my neocortex expressed in a single oval shape. We have long forgotten what it feels like to be left only with ourselves. The receptors of our brains adapted to our mass-produced chemicals long ago.